No no, not like that,
I actually want to ask you, HOW ARE YOU?
I am asking you because I didn’t ask you this, NEVER
Maybe because I was bit of scared as a child
You were very strict
You scolded me for almost everything
Whether it be my studies
Or for sleeping late in night
Or waking up late in the morning
Sometimes for wandering here and there
Or sometimes for chit-chatting with my friends outside our home
And my friends, let’s not even talk about them
You never liked them; all of them seemed to be AWARA to you, who would spoil me
I never felt that close to you, I mean how could i?
You never showed your emotions in front of me
You were always like this; the strong person, who can never be affected by anything in this world,
Ups and downs, highs and lows, you were always the same.
Rigid, unmoved
I still remember when my board exam results were out
You were about to leave for your office
Deepak called and informed me about the result
And as everyone knew that I have cleared it
Mom, sister, brother, jiju, everyone was full of joy and excitement
They all were calling everyone in neighborhood and distributing the sweets
Mom had tears of happiness in her eyes
But you,
You just came up to me with a smiling face and said congratulations, well done and you left for work
That annoyed me a little
I mean why you were to be so calculated all the time and maybe that’s why I never felt close to you
I never felt like asking you how are you?
And what should I ask you about your wellbeing, even if you have any problem,you are not going to share it with me
And even if you do, how will I help you?
I mean it is you who has solved all my problems, who has an answers to all my questions, who knows what is right and what is wrong, and if you cannot figure it out then how could i?
But last time when you visited,
Something different happened
You ask me to book your tickets because the online booking portal was so complicated to you to understand
This time you didn’t point me for my late waking and sleeping
You asked me the way to recharge shop a several time, but still you didn’t go for it by yourself, because you were scared that you will mistake something
Even when you were here
You told me that I am too much braver than you; I can do much more than your heights,
I was surprised
but what shook me, with sadness in the ping of tear in your eyes while saying this
My dad?
Can he really?
This is not you, this is not my father, my father never cries
He’s not emotional
He is strong, strict and tough
These things were never liked by me since my childhood, but bow I am missing them
The fact that you are not strong anymore is making me weak
Knowing that you won’t be able to solve all my problems is making me feel insecure
And the fact that you need my help for doing as simple a task as doing a recharge your phone makes me responsible
Now I feel you were alright the way you were
Probably that is how a father is supposed to be
That is a father’s role in a child’s life
To make us strong, to make us independent, to make us tough, to prepare us for challenges of life
And to keep us grounded when we overcome them
That was your way and you have done it perfectly
Now, it’s my turn
It’s my turn to take care of you
It’s my turn to play my role
Now it’s my turn to take all your responsibility and solve all your problems
I know your problems will be nothing as compare to what I used to pose in front of you
I know I wouldn’t even have to work half as hard as you have done to make me what I am today
But how even small my part might be, I will play it with full conviction
That’s what I have learned from you
So I have decide that let’s start with a question that I never asked
DAD….
HOW ARE YOU?
